What do you do when DNA reveals surprises that change what you know about your family history? One of our genealogists shares what she learned through her own experience.
You’ve been researching your family tree for several years and have made some really good progress on several lines. Then one day a monkey wrench is thrown into the works: You do a DNA test and the results don’t turn out quite the way you expected, with a surprise ethnicity or with no matches to the surname you’ve had all your life.
On a whim, you decide to check for your family name in a court probate index and discover your father was adopted. Or maybe someone contacts you and lets you know that your grandfather had a different biological father than the one you were told, with documentation to back up the claim. Whatever the specifics, you now have information that one of your family lines is based on an adoption, whether formal or informal.
When DNA Reveals Surprises in Your Family Tree: What's Next?
If you receive unexpected DNA results, here are some steps for consideration:
- Analyze the new information that sent you on this path. See how it fits into your family narrative, particularly if the birth/original family name is not known. Keep your mind open and don’t judge the past.
- Consider how you will list relationships on family trees. Most family tree software programs have a provision for indicating whether a parent is natural (i.e., biological) or adopted. This allows you to list both parents/sets of parents in one database. Software programs also allow you to choose a “preferred” parent for an individual. This is a personal choice, with no right or wrong answer. Whichever you choose will depend on your family’s specific circumstances and your feelings about the biological and adoptive sides.
How to note biological vs. adopted family, shown using RootsMagic software - Document everything you find, of course! As with any research, it is imperative that you include detailed documentation and sources. This can be particularly true when documenting a connection or relationship that would otherwise be unknown to other family members–you want to have all the evidence in hand that supports your claim.
Previous family history research: to keep, or not to keep?
When a surprise relationship is revealed through DNA testing, one of the first questions you may ask yourself is, “Do I keep all the family history research I've previously done?” While the response is a very personal decision, it IS common for people with adoptions in their family trees to keep track of both families.
This happened to me when I proved through DNA testing that my paternal grandfather’s biological father was not the man his mother married. The research I had gathered on the Sellers line, back to 1615 in Baden (now in Germany), is for my (informally) adopted line. I’m keeping it all, not only because it represents many years of research but because Elmer Sellers was the only father my grandfather knew. From adding together many pieces of family information, I know for certain that neither my grandfather nor any of his siblings knew that Elmer was not my grandfather’s biological father. When the adopted family is important to your family, it does a great disservice to simply cut them out.
Researching biological vs. adopted family
You may choose to also research the newly discovered biological family. Depending on the situation, you may or may not have a name to start with. I’m still hunting for my Mr. X. I have a likely last name and two strong matches at 111 markers on the Y-DNA test for the paternal line, but I am still far from identifying my biological paternal line.
As we discussed in a previous blog post, Biological vs. Cultural Heritage, family is more than just blood. It’s also who raised you, who passed on values to you, whose traditions you learned. You may choose to include both sides, bio and adopted, in one tree or two separate trees, and make it clear which is which. Acknowledge them both, embrace them both. You have twice the family that most people do now.
I remember how I felt when I confirmed that Elmer was not my biological great-grandfather. Even though I had gathered significant evidence that supported my theory, it was still a shock to learn that I was not biologically a Sellers, the only name I’ve had my entire life. If this happens to you, take some time to process and adjust to your new reality. We've put together a list of resources that can help you as you digest this discovery. When you're ready (and if you choose) dive in and start researching that new family line you just discovered.
Legacy Tree Genealogists has extensive experience assisting clients with learning about all facets of their heritage. If you’re seeking answers to a family mystery, we will do everything within our power to figure it out and to present you with the facts you need. Using a combination of genetic and traditional genealogy methodologies to identify biological family members is a particular specialty. Contact us today for a free consultation and to discuss options.
We found out after 40 years of family history research that my husband’s Dad was not his biological father. What to do with all that previous research? We had been in contact with another family member and transferred the tree for him to manage going forward, and put all of our documentation on Ancestry.com for others to use.
Thank you for sharing your research, and for going through the process of finding a bio relative that was interested in managing the tree!
Faye:
The exact incident happened to me about two weeks ago; which shocked me greatly. To make a long story short, my bio father (deceased in 1983) was adopted at the age of five (1945). I met my bio grandfather (Grandpa Ed) (in 1990) when I was 27 yrs old and had a great relationship with him and my step grandmother (Grandma Betty). This relationship lasted for about 15+ yrs, until grandpa died. After that, I stayed in contact with Grandma Betty. When my DNA results came back, I discovered that my bio father was not related to his bio father in any way at all. I received a message from a DNA first half cousin and we were trying to figure out how we could possibly be related. My bio father’s father was either this newly found cousin’s grandpa or great grandpa. I think I’ve narrowed it down to having the same grandpa that she has. Some interesting details about this family came to light as I found out that my heritage is Croatian, Hungarian, or Austrian and great grandpa had ties to the Mafia in either New Jersey or PA. After learning all of this, I started questioning my myself as to WHO I really was. I felt like my entire life was a huge lie. I’ve now come to accept this 80 yr old secret that was finally revealed. Anyway, I apologize for the ling message, but I wanted to share. Take care and best wishes. Jorja C. from WA State.
You say, “…not related to his bio father….” How can someone not be related to someone who is bio?
I erred when I stated ‘bio grandfather’. I apologize for my error. The man whom I thought was my bio grandfather, is in no way related to me. He was married to my paternal grandmother and is listed as my bio father’s bio father on his birth certificate. Anyway, I had a relationship with my presumed bio grandfather. Re: My bio father: Parents married in May 1962, I was conceived in July 1962, they separated in January 1963, filed for divorce Mar 1963, I was born in Apr 1963, and their divorce was final prior only first birthday. I never had relationship with my bio father, so that is what I refer him as. The beginning of my life was confusing and complicated. A child should not have to come into the world that way. Anyway, I hope I explained myself better.
I have known I was adopted since I was young. So we found out all 4 of us had different fathers. That blew my brothers away! Now we have been looking for over a year. I am against brick wall because either I or someone in my new tree deleted someone .I still loom every day.
My maternal grandmother died in the process of giving birth to my mother. This was in 1913. The only things I have of her existence is a wedding photo and marriage certificate.
I only know that she was born abroad and married my grandfather here. The last surviving 1st cousin of my mother cannot give me information about my grandmother. How could I get information about my grandmother.
Hi Christine, this is certainly something we can assist with. You may request a free consultation here: https://legacytree.com/contact-us.
Why is there very little talk about people who are astounded to find out there father they thought were there biological father is in fact not the father only to find out that there mother had an affair while married to another man. Thus actually being a illegitimate child of someone they never new and how it affects both families .
Going through the same thing and with mother deceased and no one to find out anything from, I can attest it’s absolutely life changing.
My dad was adopted and my siblings and I are trying to determine our potential bio grandparents. It is apparent the parents did not marry because we all have high matches to two distinct families living in the same vicinity. We have found a 1/2 first cousin. My match with her is 503 cm/23 segments. My sisters match with her is 550/28; and my brothers DNA match with her is 661/29 segments. With matches that high can we assume that her grandmother is my dads mother?
Hi! I presume from the way you worded your question that you have already determined it could not be the case that her grandfather is your dad’s father. Half first cousin would be the most likely relationship, assuming you are all members of the same generation. If she is a generation different from you and your siblings, then she may be a first cousin once removed. To see all the possible relationships, check out https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 and enter the cM amounts that each of you share with the match. Happy hunting!
Hello, I have my Mums fathers line. We can only get back to John Robert Finley born 1809 Northern Ireland, but the Finley family are Scottish. In his 20s he moved to Canada and married Mary Phillips in Ontario Canada, after abt 2 children they moved to Macomb, St.Lawrence Co. New York, they had the rest of there large family there. The problem is we can’t find John Robert’s parents. All the Methodist churches were tore down when they put in the St.Lawrence Segway. I have been looking for 60 yrs. Is there anything I can do. I am now too old to travel, I have cousins on line that are connecting this line with no proof. Just connecting this line with absolutely no proof. Any help would be loved. I will most likely die before finding out. I have another line his is my grandfather he is Levi Byron Peck born 1845 they say Gouverneur NY. No way. You can’t find this man until he shows up in a 1880 census with wife Maria and abt 4 children. I found in his obit he claims he has 3 other siblings. I researched them dead end too. I was told by aunt that the people that was thought to be his parents were really his Aunt and Uncle. His parents were dead. Ok but who was his parents. No papers of any kind on who he belongs. I am starting to believe he us not really a Peck, I am starting to think he is from a female side of Peck family and they just took the last name. But none of them have any papers on them. This I have been working on for 70 yrd. I am 97 yrs old. Any understanding would be much loved. Thank you Friends.
Hi Dee, that can be so frustrating when our genealogy “brick walls” seem insurmountable. Have you tried taking a DNA test to see if that can reveal any additional clues! We wish you the best of luck in your research!
All my life I have stated that I was Irish/English. After the DNA came i was totally shocked to find i am just a hair short o being Ashkenazi Jewish. I have no idea how to figure out where that began on my family tree.
Hi, Bette! What an incredible surprise! We’d love to hear more and help you figure out a good place to start to uncover many more interesting surprises in your family tree. You might want to consider scheduling and purchasing a 45-minute consultation with one of our professional genealogists to get you on the right track: https://www.legacytree.com/genealogy-consultation